My birthday is coming up in a few weeks and lately I’ve been reminiscing about what life was like when I was 21. The only thing I owned was my car, I could pick up and travel when I wanted, and hell, my body had the elasticity of a 21 year old. That alone is enough to make me miss those days. ;) Last weekend the hubby and I spent our anniversary at Panama City Beach. (We didn’t realize it was Spring Break, but that’s another story) As I was looking around at the 18-21 year old college students stumbling around on the beach at ten in the morning either still drunk from the night before or on their way to getting there, I was thinking how much I did NOT miss being that age. My husband beat me to the punch though and said it before I could voice it aloud.
It got me thinking that sometimes the grass often seems greener on the other side of the fence, the wall, the whatever example you can think of. Usually it’s not. As I’ve been struggling through some rejections, etc. in my writing life I’ve been questioning decisions I’ve made. Over the last weekend I realized I can’t focus on the past, but have to look to the future instead. Even though some days I miss what writing was like before I sold or became agented, I can never go back to that. I’ve grown too much and learned too much. It’s easy to tell myself that life was easier when I didn’t have deadlines, etc. but the truth is if it’s easy, it’s not worth it. I came to a nice realization this weekend and it really put things in perspective. Looking backward is only going to drag me down and stop me from focusing on my dreams/goals.
5 comments:
You got it, sweetheart! It's like my favorite line from A League of Their Own: "The hard is what makes it great."
Your hard work will pay off in the end, and your talent will take you places. I'm so proud of you!!!
I've read your last few posts, Katie and I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. It sounds like your vacation time really grounded you again and helped remind you of all the wonderful things in life. Take care ;)
Our bodies tend to move in the direction that we're facing. I think that's true on a metaphysical level too. So, look to the future and grab it with both hands. :)
Katie, this is a great post and really quite timely for me. Are you like, psychic?
Seriously, I would give my eye teeth (not my right arm, 'cause then I wouldn't be able to type properly) to be where you are right now: agented, focussed on "real" career deadlines instead of self-imposed pretend ones designed to keep me at the keyboard & writing when I want to throw in the towel. But you know, no matter how crappy things are at the moment, and how I wish I'd done some things differently, I had an aspiring author tell me at a conference that she'd love to be me! Hah. That really set me back on my heels. Funny how it works, isn't it?
It's probably harder because it means more to you now and you're far more critical of yourself. But you're doing brilliantly and we're all rooting for you. Big hugs!
M
Sorry I'm so late stopping back by, but thank you for all the thoughtful comments. And Maree, I am psychic, just don't tell anyone, lol ;)
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