I'm so over this year. And it's only February!Sheesh. Not looking good, people. And I thought 2009 was a shitful year.
But I won't rant and rave and loose the slavering beast of my discontent, or submerge you in the tidal wave of disappointments I have right now about this whole writing business. Been there. Done that. DH is wearing the earplugs and sporting the hunched shoulders to prove it. (And BTW, the exaggerated metaphors were entirely intentional. I don't write like that for real, I promise.)
My son is home right now with some weird allergy and I have to keep whizzing downstairs to check whether he needs another antihistimine. So I'm gonna be brief and for once, to the point.
DH and I have this friend. She's smart -- very smart. And very capable. I like her. A lot.
She was talking to us about category romance novels. Why? I'm not sure. Because it's not like she reads them. Maybe she thought we were discussing my so-called writing career. I don't know and I didn't ask.
Anyway, this is essence of what she had to say: "I'm thinking of knocking one out. Because, you know, they're so easy to write. Anyone can write one ."
DH bit his tongue and didn't try to disabuse her. Neither did I. We figured we'd be wasting our time.
But afterward, well, color me furious. And infuriated. And any other fury-filled adjective you can think of. Not to mention gutted.
Because I'm trying to write a category romance at the moment. And one thing it is not, is "easy to knock out". Not even for someone who's completed 10 full-length manuscripts ranging in length from 45,000 words to 125,000 words, and kinda likes to think she knows what she's doing by now. Not even for someone who's published a novella, and with another one imminent, hopes she's mastered the art of sticking to a limited word count.
I haven't got past the plotting stage. Okay, let's be painfully honest. I haven't got past a title, names for my two main characters, and a paragraph description about the hero and heroine. I'm not even a plotter, but I know that to write a category romance, everything has to be tight, so I'm plotting an entire scene by scene outline first. Or at least, that's the plan.
And it's hard -- really hard. I have even more respect than I previously had for all those category romance writers out there. I'm hoping one day I'll be good enough to join your ranks. But I'm not holding my breath.
So for an intelligent, modern-day career woman to claim she could "toss one of those off no problems"? Hah. I don't think so, love. Because in the first place, you have to love reading them. And if you hold the genre in such contempt, it's gonna show in your story. And believe me, no-one will want to read your story. End of story. Period.
And if it's soooo easy to write one, then why hasn't she set to work and done just that?
Well, that is easy. Because talking to people about how easy it is to write something -- anything! --is far easier than putting butt on chair, fingers to keyboard, and actually doing it.
Hope I can bite my tongue next time I meet up with her.
(Not So) Cheers,
Maree
10 comments:
Oh, I know that feeling, Maree! And to all those well-meaning family and friends who think I write 'fluff', ditto. I'd love to see them try to write something that sells. Anything.
Be content imagining her actually sitting down and attempting to write one and then give up because "it's not easy" - then not saying a thing because she now KNOWS!!! :-)
Hey anyone could write one, but most don't and if she actually does the question remains is it something anyone else would want to read...? Yeah, thought not.
My father-in-law claims that he's gonna sit down and pen the next Great American Novel. He's been retired for a decade and has yet to do much of anything. Then, he urges me to go back to take college courses because "This online thing just isn't working."
I just mutter under my breath that he's being an ass muppet and move on.
Maree, you're right. Plenty of people talk about writing a book but never sit down and put fingers to keyboard, and even fewer finish the project. Fewer still turn out something that can be polished into something an agent or editor would willingly read.
And you have to write what you love to read, and what lights the fire inside you. Otherwise it will definitely show in the writing!
You just keep plugging away, and you'll get it done. Baby steps, and quit being so hard on yourself! Us writers are terrible for that :)
Why bite your tongue? I wouldn't. You don't have to hang yourself up on a cross about it, but neither should you cheerfully swallow that bite of shit sundae that she's so blithely shoving down your throat.
This post just gave me a raging case of Big Sister Syndrome *tucks you under wing*
OMG, you guys are so totally freaking awesome! You know that, right????
Anne, you got right to the heart of the matter. Writing something is one thing, something that sells? Well, that's a whole 'nother story. A story that sells has soul, and it shows in every word.
Kylie, I love that imagery. And of course I would be a big enough person not to say anything. Merely an enigmatic, entirely superior smile, perhaps? ;-)
Jennifer: ass-muppet? OMG, that's classic! Oh yeah. Gonna save that one up. And why on earth would anyone want to read something written by someone who doesn't absolutely love, love, love! to write?
Kaylea, thank you, sweetie. I will stop being so hard on myself, I promise. Well, after I've gotten this book written to my satisfaction, LOL.
Saranna, I love the way your mind works! I'm usually a grin and bear it, then go home and bitch about kinda girl. But lately, I find myself biting back. Just a bit. Getting so tired of all the derogatory comments and innuendos. Ah, the joys of having published in the erotic romance genre, and not thinking of publishing under a pseudonym.
I do have a pen name, true. But everyone knows who I am around here. I was a total vote whore during the whole Dorchester contest. Grocery stores, car dealership, anywhere that I could anyone to sit still.
I recently had my tax preparer say he'd buy my book. I told him it was explicit and he said if it was explicit enough, he'd buy two. This guy used to work with my dad. So... yeah.
*hugs* If you want Mama Saranna to take care of your light work, I will. *g*
A tax preparer *Snort!* Love it! And two copies? Obviously a man of impeccable taste, Saranna ;-)
I got asked what kind of book I'd published by an Australian Customs officer. "Paranormal erotic romance", I told him. Bluntly. Look on his face was priceless. "Well, you did ask," I said. And was promptly waved through, LOL.
And I've been in the local newspaper a few times, so I don't think I have a shit show in hell of remaining anonymous round my little town. Luckily, the kids' primary school teachers were quite fascinated and asked me for website details and signed bookmarks. Such a relief!
Hugs gratefully accepted, BTW. You're a sweetheart!
Yeah, I hope she tries to 'knock one out' too. I had to stop reading for a moment when I got to that part. I sincerely hope you don't bite your tongue next time ;)
Katie, methinks the time for biting my tongue has passed. One can only take so much crap, right? First question on my lips will be, "So how's that book going? Finished yet?"
I'm polishing my snark-gene ;-)
Post a Comment